I Awake

In love, I thought, no one could control me.
The very love I saught caught me in a trap where I was blinded by the illusion of security. 
I could not see, nor understand, what was spoken to me.
Today I wake with fresh eyes and see what has been kept hidden from me.
Life will never be the same.

Heartbreak

"If it was this easy for you then why don't you leave when I asked you to?" she asked, drying her tears with the side of her palm.

"Because I didn't have to before" he told her taking a step towards her. "Because I didn't want to."

"Then what has changed now?" she asked her eyes burning through him, searing his soul.

"I have to",  his gaze dropping allowing a piece of hair to fall in front of his face and hide his eyes. He didn't wanna look at her. He didn't want to see the pain that he was about to inflict.

"Why?" She pleaded, "I thought you lo--- cared about me?"

She couldn't even say it. She didn't know. She couldn't know. She was too good for him in his past was catching up with him quick. He didn't want to hurt her but it was the only way.

She didn't know the real him. She wouldn't have loved him if she knew the real him. So he was protecting her. He would never be happy. Not without her but he would never put her in any danger. So he told her the only thing that would make her hate him. The only saying that would make her stop caring.

Destiny's Mission

My name is Destiny and I was sent to this world 5,267 years ago. I have been here this long because I have yet to be born.

I know my mission is to save the world but I am not sure how much longer I will be able to wait before made mission fails before it ever had a chance to begon.

I am conscious of everything around me, though no one even knows that I am here. I am ready to begin my physical life in this world although I am stuck waiting.

Breaking Free

Breaking Free

I will miss you but it's only because you were like a drug for me.

I knew you weren't good for me and I still wanted and craved you. You ruined my life like any other addiction, ripped me apart so that I could put myself back together.

I wish that we were meant to be more than what we are but, knowing that we are not.

I ask, NO I DEMAND that you give me what is rightfully mine. My heart. I want my sanity back but, with you holding my heart I will always think of you. I want to be clear, I am not asking for it back. I am demanding it back.

If you fight me on it, I will fight back and I know that it is a part of what turns you on but, know that I am not fighting for you. I am fighting for ME. I deserve love and you will and cannot give it to me.

This is the last time you will ever hear from me. I am never going to put myself around you again. You thrive causing others pain and I abhor that about you. You could be something but you choose to stay in squalor. I won't even give you my sympathy. This is your choice so you deserve it

No Longer Yours,

 

My Love

Stand Your Ground

Skies of Grey
On a cloudy day

Gusts of wind
Blow my way.

I hold strong.
Standing my ground

Listening to the wind
And it's howling sound.

Screeching it's displeasure
at my rock solid stance

Then the leaves rush in
And start to dance

Bringing with it, an uplifting kind of energy.
I went from being tense to feeling carefree.

I lifted my hands and reached out to the sky.
From my lips I began to sing a lullaby.

The wind quiets down,
lulled and pacified.

Tarot Box Project Relationship Spread

 The sketches I did for the Relationship Spread.

This one represents

How you see him
How he sees you.

  This one represents

What you want from the relationship
What he wants from the relationship.

  This one is for

Where you think the relationship is going
Where be thinks the relationship is going

My Tarot Box Project

 Past is gone, nothing you can do to change it. That may see cold but the present is ever changing. Life is how you make it. You can focus a bright future or stay in the distant past, remaining stuck and never moving forward. This is my spread for PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE.  I have another side of the box to work on. So another layout to be posted soon.

My Latest Tarot Box Project

 

 

 I hope you enjoyed seeing my project in stages. Feel free to send me a shout out on Facebook

A Universe in an Apple.

 

A Universe in an Apple.

 "You can have the whole world," said the snake to Eve. And much like the women of today, Eve wanted it all, so she took the apple. When she held it in her hand though she felt no difference.

 "You must consume it," the snake said slowly as if speaking to a child, "Then the universe will be inside you and no one can ever take it from you! "

So Eve took a bite of the apple and her whole world changed from that point on. The universe was her's, yes, but she would bare the responsibility from it through her children. God's gift and punishment for tasting the forbidden fruit.

Her children would be her world and much like God, she would have to teach them right from wrong.

The Scarlet Scarf

"Say it" he demanded, his lips a breath away from mine.

"I want you." I whimpered, trying to inch my lips closer to his. His fingers tightened in my hair, pulling my lips away from his.

"Not yet" he breathed in to my ear, sending chills down my spine. "Not yet." He repeated, almost as if to himself. I could already feel his resolve weakening as his fingers slipped through my hair. "Tell me." His lips teasing the nape of my neck with feathery puffs of air as he spoke.

"Please." I pouted, wanting this sweet torture to be over. I wanted his body against mine, with nothing between us. I ached for the pleasure he was withholding from me. My hands tied up with a silk scarlet scarf above my head gave him the appearance of me being helpless against his demands. I was anything but helpless.

I liked to give him the illusion of control, however he was getting out of hand with his demands. I wasn't going to say I loved him. I would never let him have that kind of control over me.

Enchanting

You want me
You crave me
but you know
you can't have me,

You yearn to be near
but you won't get close.
You're waiting for something.

A sign.

When I speak these words you'll know that it isn't just you.
You'll know deep in your heart that I want you too.

"Come to me."
As I will it,
so mote it be

Darkness Calls

The darkness, it calls,
speaking your name.
"Cassandra," it says
"Let down your walls.
The light may be warm
but it won't hide your shame."
You know what it means
and you have only yourself to blame.
You take a step out of the light
and finally it seems that
Darkness has won the fight.

Feather

His gaze draws me in
And I can't look away
He's an Angel of Darkness
And I know he can't stay

But there's something about him
And I've got to at least try
So, I open my mouth and squeak out a
"Hi."

"Hello, little one." was his reply
"Are you willing to stop me?" He challenged out loud
His wings unfurling against the crowd.

His wings, jet black, were a wondrous sight
I watched in awe as he lifted his body up into flight.

Leaving behind only a
black, velvety
feather.

Wish

My heart was racing and my hands were cold
But all that mattered was that we were alone.

Alone together.
No little brother
Or mom
Or even dad.

No one to interrupt what I dreamed of for so long.

We sat on my porch just gazing at the night sky.

We sat there for hours, not saying a word.
Until a star streaked past the quiet sky.

"Make a wish." He said.
So I closed my eyes and I wished for him.

Lost

You've already lost me
and you don't even know.
It happened a few years ago
I thought I could forgive
but I can't seem to forget.
You made me feel worthless
and unworthy of your love.
I should have let you go
but I thought our love
could overcome the worst.
But it can't
or
I won't let it.

I Hate Myself

I hate myself and how I feel.
How I crave your touch and the sound of your voice.
I go crazy with my fantasies of you.
I hate myself
but, I can't hate you.
I want to be good
and I try so hard but,
I dream of you
and I dream of me.
I dream of things that will never be.
I hate myself because I can't make it stop.
I want to be loyal
and I know that I should
but I'm so sick and tired
of always being good.

I wrote this about a year ago and now I found a song that vibes with my poem.

Book Apps

I got an email from Karen Robertson, and Neil Maxwell-Keys about how to create a book app. As interested as I am in creating a book app, I am unwilling to jump right in without some research. Once I create a book app I don't want to create the same book app but in a different platform. One and done. There is a lot of work to be done in just one page of a regular book. Lots more in a book app. No story ever written consisted of one page. Words are to be written, illustrations are to be drawn and then perfected. In a book app your illustrations come to life. Things move and make sounds. I've seen some where there are games implemented in the story as well. I'm currently looking into that. Even if my story has none, I would always like the option if I wanted to use it in my story. I think it's a brilliant idea to keep the children engaged in what their reading. The best book I could see coming out of these apps are the learning ones. Why not have fun when your learning?


Here are some sites to look into if you are interested in creating a book app yourself.

• InteractBuilder – www.interactbooks.com 
• TaleSpring – www.talespring.com 
• DemiBooks Composer – www.demibooks.com 
• Playtales Builder – www.playtalesbuilder.com

Secrets Within (finale excerpt )

The old lady was quick for an old woman with a bum knee, Grayson thought as he rushed down the halls to find her. He seen her plump form dash to the stairs. The stairs that would take her directly to the King's floor. She knew! She was going to tell the King! Grayson panicked and raced after the old lady, grabbing her arm so that he could stop her from telling the King. But he lost his grip on the old woman's arm and her arms flailed in the air before she tumbled down onto the hard stone stairs. Down, down, down thirty eight stairs. Her head hitting the third step and blood pooling around her as she landed, lifelessly on the cold white floor.

Grayson rushed to the old woman's side, unaware that she was still very much alive. When he bent down to check she clawed at him with her gnarled hands. "You are a vial deceitful man!" she spat, blood coming from her mouth. "To sleep with the Queen, the woman married to your father!" Blood leaking from her eyes, she had one last thing to say before she finally succumbed to her death, "With my finale breathe, I curse you. Grayson, bastard of King David, you shall never have the love you seek. You have the Queen now, but the time will come when she will no longer want you. The one who loves you will never have your heart and the one who has yours, will be the death of you."

Secrets Within (exceprt) the beginning

Aireona waited to be announced, "Aireona Hemsworth." She didn't allow the announcer to continue with his needless talk of who she was and where she was from. It didn't matter one lick to her. She was here to have fun.

  Not unlike all the other girls here, but she wasn't here to find a husband. She walked to stand in line with the other girls. Hating the hungry looks she was receiving from some of the men.

  They could look all they liked, not one of them was going to get her to bite. She didn't want a man, nor did she need one. She was perfectly happy with her life the way it was. Her father doting on her and her mom cooing over her. It would be that way forever, she had decided.

  Being an only child, she knew her parents wouldn't want to kick her out. They would wait until she was ready. But she wasn't. If she were to marry, it could only be to the one she loved. Grayson.

  Though it would never happen. Not with Grayson being a "lower class citizen." Her mother's words when she found out about Aireona's "little crush." If she couldn't choose Grayson, than she would choose to be a spinster.

 Shaking herself, she reminded herself she was here to have fun. Thinking about Grayson saddened her. He had disappeared the night of their first kiss. Leaving without so much as a goodbye. So she tried to push him from her mind. The music began and a man walked up to her, introduced himself then held out his hand asking her a dance.

  Placing her hand in his, she walked with him to the dance floor. Once they reached the dance floor, he placed his other hand above her hip. Her other hand went to his left shoulder. She smiled nicely at the man but his touch didn't bring that same sizzle through her like Grayson's. Still she enjoyed the dance, and Sir William Endicott seemed like a nice fellow.

 She barely had time to catch her breath when another song came on and another man took her hand. Not even asking her permission to dance. Something very unbecoming of a man trying to find a wife. Especially if that wife was her. Not that she was interested. Looking up darkly, her brows furrowed and lips thinned, she sees Grayson.

  Her lips formed an "o" before they settled into a soft smile.Unlike William, Grayson placed his right hand on the small of her back. Still holding her hand, he leds Aireona into a slow dance. "Grayson." She breathed, not quite believing he was there. The music allowing them to be close for the moment.

  "Aireona," he says, breathing her in. "I have missed you." She had never looked so radiant. Glowing like the night's stars. So beautiful and out of his reach. But  not anymore. He had worked hard and was ready to court Aireona, so that one day he could ask for her hand in marriage.

  The tempo picked up and Aireona moved away from him. The music no longer allowing the closeness he craved. Her mouth fell and her movements were filled with fury. "You wouldn't have missed me if you had stayed." 

 Grayson pulled her close and whispered  fervently "If I had stayed things would have spiraled out of control and you know it."

 Aireona's cheeks flushed. "It was just a kiss." She dismissed..

 "Did it mean so little to you?" Grayson asked, his fingers digging into her back. "Do I mean so little to you?"

  "You're hurting me." Aireona whimpered, her voice full of shock and pain. Grayson's hands dropped and he started away from her. No you don't! Aireona thought. You're not walking away from me again!  Quickly, she grabbed his hand and returned it back on her back, threading her fingers through his hair. Not caring that the dance didn't call for that kind of closeness. "You mean the world to me," her eyes daring him to see that truth.

 People were watching the pair, as they danced around them. Grayson forgot who he was, what he was supposed to be and kissed Aireona. His lips taking hers in a kiss full of pent up hunger. Aireona, forgetting where she was, let out a soft moan. The world seemed to stand still while they kissed. The music surrounding them seemed to capture all the passion that their kiss held.

 But eventually the music stops and the room is abuzz with hushed whispers.

Secrets Within (excerpt)

Bloodied and weak from his days in the walls, he collapsed. The next thing he recalled was being called a hero. Something his father, the King, seemed proud of.

Clara had tried to be alone with him but Grayson would not allow it. He wanted nothing to do with her. But she was Queen and used to getting her way. Within a fortnight she showed up in not but a stitch of clothing.

Brass she was, walking the halls like a nymph in the night. He could not tell if she was crazy or brazen she walked into his room with only a thin cloth to cover her. "Grayson."she purred. "I know you are hurting but surely you will not send me away again." Sashaying her hips as she came into his room. "I have missed you and by the looks of you, you have surely missed me." Her gaze lowering to the thick bulge that had popped up as she walked into the candlelight. Her round breasts pushed against the thin white fabric of her gown. She licked her lower lip causing him to imagine her tongue licking him.

"I know." he croaked, still aching for her touch but, at the same time, repelled by it as well. She did not seem to hear him and she removed the covers from off his body. Now the only thing between them were his pants and her barely there gown.